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Tales from the Ultimate Dot Com Startup
Wednesday, July 19, 2006El Rancho El Rancho used to be right across the street from Startups.com but have since closed. I guess they were the only one's who thought they had the best food on the planet. Actually it wasn't too bad, and many of us were regulars there.
posted by guert at 3:46 PM
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Thursday, July 13, 2006Jumping In The Bushes
One sunny afternoon in Redwood City, V, Ted and I were outside taking a break from the seemingly never ending coding mayhem that was occurring with the Startups.com Tech Team. We were surely venting about the days events when I had an idea. It was just a thought but then I decided to take action. Change the mood a little bit. Get some laughs. You know how it is...
So as we were standing there I stepped back a few feet, started to run and when I got to full speed I lunged into the nearby bushes. I landed right in the middle of one of those spiny bushes with the little blue berries. It kicked up a lot of dust as well. V and Ted looked at me like I was nuts and we all started laughing. It was unforgettable. Even though the spines of that bush made my skin itch like crazy that day it was a worthy stunt.
posted by guert at 10:59 AM
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Tuesday, June 13, 2006Monday, June 05, 2006Pigeons Falling From The Sky
One day when the Tech Team was busy working over on Warren Street, just across from the Maguire Correctional Facility, a strange and awful thing happened. A loud thud hit one of the windows in the office where V, Winston, Winnie, Mike and I were sitting. I opened the blinds and it was a pigeon who was wobbling around and looked pretty disoriented. How could he not be? After all he had just flown into a window.
But why did he hit the window? Sometimes birds do this because they don't see the window. But in this case the blinds were closed. Something strange was happening. A few minutes later a different bird could be seen wobbling around from another window. Shortly after, it collapsed. This was getting weird. A bunch of us went to lunch a little while later and more pigeons could be seen doing unusual things. One of the strangest sights was a homeless man following a meandering pigeon in the middle of the street and behind the man was a bus, waiting patiently to pass. The next day we got the local Redwood City newspaper to see if we could find out what may have happened to all of those poor pigeons. Well it turns out they were poisoned. Sequoia station had a "pigeon problem", so they fed them poisoned corn and the results were pigeons dropping from the sky. I always thought a large fake owl on the rooftop and spikes over the ledges would do the trick... Ahhh Redwood City. There's no place quite like it.
posted by guert at 4:37 PM
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Friday, June 02, 2006Startups.com In Wikipedia
As of today, June 2, 2006, Startups.com is now in the Wikipedia.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Startups.com
posted by guert at 4:36 PM
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Sunday, May 28, 2006Saturday, May 27, 2006History of the Startups.com Domain
posted by guert at 10:50 AM
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Friday, May 26, 2006Thursday, May 25, 2006Running Around On The Roof
One day in the Spring of 2000 I was busy working at Startups.com and I noticed Andrea, who was the admin at the time, opening a storage closet in the hallway just outside of the main office. From my vantage point I could see that there was a built-in ladder with roof-top access. This seemed like a good opportunity to go on an outside adventure. There was nothing Andrea could do to stop me. I walked into the closet, up the ladder and before I knew it I was on the roof.
Freedom! Whoo Hoo! I then began to run laps around the roof which spanned the entire company at the time. I had a wonderful time Running, yelling, skipping and jumping for joy! Meanwhile downstairs in the conference room there was an important meeting going on. After I became tired of running around the roof I came back down the ladder, through the closet and into the main office to sit at my desk and get back to work. It must have been obvious who had been the one running around on the roof because just then Danny came out of the meeting and gave me quite an earful. But it was all worth it. I apologized and the next time I went roof-top exploring I was sure to do it in stealth mode.
posted by guert at 9:04 PM
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Wednesday, May 24, 2006Startups.com Stock Options
Every dot-commer dreams of purchasing stock options at a very low price and selling very very high when the company goes public or is acquired. Or at least somewhat high after the investors cash out and the employees can finally be rewarded months later.
Unfortunately none of those scenarios happened at Startups.com. I'm not sure why... But I actually purchased my options (for a very low amount) just for the keepsake. 3,333 shares of nothin'!!! 30 years from now on eBay, they could really be worth something. Or not.
posted by guert at 1:50 PM
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Hey Nice Peanut
So I USED to have this piece of poo doll named "Mr. Hankey" who would sing songs when squeezed. You know, Mr. Hankey The Christmas Poo of Southpark fame. Man Southpark is like so 90's dude (so passe). Anyway, I HAD a singing Mr. Hankey doll that I brought into the office back when the Tech Team was still in the front section (suite A) of the corporate headquarters.
Donna noticed this doll and said, "Hey Nice Peanut". Those who heard this got a good laugh. So then I put the "peanut" on her computer monitor in her office since she enjoyed him so much. Shortly after, a film crew from a local news station came to give Donna an interview in her office. Guess who was in frame just behind her sitting on the computer monitor? Wish I had a copy of that video... Note: I no longer own a Mr. Hankey Poo doll. Believe it or not I think he ended up at Good Will with a bunch of monkeys. I do still have monkeys but not as many as I did at one time.
posted by guert at 12:53 PM
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Tuesday, May 23, 2006Where is Everyone?
Was it all just a crazy dream filled with flying monkeys, a tin man, a scarecrow, a large yellow ball and munchkins? Is anyone there? Does anyone else remember what happened?
posted by guert at 7:49 AM
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Saturday, May 20, 2006Casting for a Startups.com Movie
There is already a documentary movie called "Startup.com" that came out a few years ago. It definitely wasn't about the "Ultimate Dot Com Startup" and was kind of slow. Our story which was much better, and at one time we thought of who might play our parts if a blockbuster movie was to ever be made.
Tech Team Mike Shane -- Joe Pesci Brian Faeh -- Michael Keaton (or) Tom Hanks Angelique -- Julianne Moore Dave Orr -- William Hurt Mike Lewis -- Alan Alda Ted Lee -- Chow Yun Fat JJ -- Eddie Murphy Guert -- Adam Sandler Veronica -- Veronica from Archie Comics Adam -- Heath Ledger Josh -- Matt Damon (or) Treat Williams Winston -- Al Pacino Winnie -- Michelle Yoh Daniel -- Danny Devito Steve Taffe -- Jack Nicholson (or) Harry Morgan (Col. Potter from M*A*S*H) Karen Smith -- Julia Roberts Nancy -- Molly Ringwald Authur -- Dudley Moore Tuka -- Jamie Farr Gavin -- Liam Gallagher (from Oasis) Venky -- Robin Williams Shiv -- Robin Williams Inder -- Daler Mendhi Analog -- Robin Williams Ming Woo -- Long Duck Dong Yellow Ball -- AS ITSELF
posted by guert at 11:18 AM
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Tech Team For Sale On eBay
I suppose Startups.com was doomed from the start, but when it was obvious that the company was going to go out of business for sure we thought we could at least sell our services on eBay. I made it until the 3rd round of layoffs as did most of our Tech Team. It was a large tech team for a small company and you will read much more about it I'm sure. In May of 2001, I posted the following ad on eBay. We didn't have much luck but did actually get an inquiry or two...
Tech Team For Sale
posted by guert at 11:14 AM
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